Forgivness...

Why is it that something that happened so long ago can still affect you? Especially if you have forgiveness for such a thing. What is forgiveness, anyway. Being able to be around the person who hurt you without wanting to hurt them back? Going Further and being able to look at that person with love in your heart for them? Or is Forgiveness being able to live your life, knowing what happened, and not have it affect you. If it affects you, can you truly have forgiven?

 Wow, deep subject! Is that necessary at 2am?? Well, if you must know I watched a movie with my husband that brought up several old deep wounds and of course got me thinking. Now as I have said they were deep and yes they are sad but I will not make you suffer the details as it's not necessary.  Now as this did not affect my husband he of course was able to sleep in peace while I am stuck awake and shaken....which of course brings me to drag all of you into this. Why wouldn't you wake your husband and talk to him about your heart and how it affected you, you ask?? Because, he's asleep, and doesn't get much of it and then we'd both be up which will make us both exhausted tomorrow and you know what?!  Why do I have to explain myself to you?! Do you want to know what I think or not?! Man! Okay, now that I need to forgive you for being judgmental and prying lets get back to searching Forgiveness shall we?! ......lol  

Okay, so we all know the Bible says to forgive others....

Matthew 6:14  
¹⁴ “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

We are to forgive like he forgives us....got it....so how did he do it???

I ran across this verse in Acts that got me thinking....    
                                            
Acts 13:38-39   ³⁸ Therefore let it be known to you, brethren, that through this Man is preached to you the forgiveness of sins; ³⁹ and by Him everyone who believes is justified from all things from which you could not be justified by the law of Moses.

The word Justified stuck out at me....so of course I went to the dictionary to get the "meanings" of Justified. The first meaning says

"1. To demonstrate or prove to be just, right, or valid:"

This would mean that I would make in my mind the person who wronged me "just, right or valid" Now although they are valid, I can't say they were "just" or "right" in what they did right?? On to meaning two then!

"2. To declare free of blame; absolve"

Depending on the person and act, this can be done....It's not their fault, they had it done to them. It's not their fault, they had a rough childhood. It's not their fault, they were "sick". It's not their fault, they didn't know any better; and so many others we can think of. However, they had free will right? Didn't they "choose" to do this which would make my hurts their blame? (I suppose this would be a good choice for defining forgiveness, right?) Never the less, on to definition three.

 "3. To free (a human) of the guilt and penalty attached to grievous sin. Used of God."

(Now the last two have to do with the law and one says something about spaces and printing.... don't belive me?! look it up...seriously!)

Back to definition three. Freeing the person to not have the umbrella of their wrongs hovering over them. This I feel I've done. In my heart of course as it isn't something I can exactly go and talk to the wrong doers about. I can forgive and pray that God releases them of it and brings them peace. That they won't have to be reminded of it. However, they are human, as am I. Eventually something will come up and remind our fleshly brains that this occurred. What do we do then?

I guess this is where we say, we don't need Jesus for the specific moment where sin occurred. We need him for the reminders, we must forgive like he does which begs us to think. He is the God of all time. He must remember the wounds we inflicted on him when he forgives us over the same sin time and time again. And in my case, I have to admit that it's only the memory causing the pain, not the wrong doers repeatedly preforming the act. And there it is...... What a God I have to release me when my sin is repetitive.  Not only does he "free me of guilt and penalty". Not only does he "free me of blame". He goes further, and looks into the face of his father and says. No, remember, you promised, I did what I went to do and now she is "just", "right" and I claim her as "Valid". It never happened........ Again, and Again, and Again.

Thank you, will never be enough, My Lord.