Saturday, March 15, 2014

Wait, you mean I have to do my best everytime, on EVERYTHING??!!

"Yes, love."

That's the only response I could give him.....because inside I was screaming out....

"I know, right?!"

We homeschool my son and and as you might be able to tell from his non filtered response to me asking him to make that legible, he has ADHD. *Gasp*. I know right? What could be worse then to have a son with ADHD but to homeschool him at that?! I must be crazy! I must be a saint!  I must be....knowing exactly what he's going through.
 
   Before you judge my son because I say he has ADHD know your remarks injure me because *gasp* that's right. I have it too. I am in the testing phase for this however, I was already given a diagnoses for at my local college when tested for learning disabilities. It's how I know my son had it and here's another zinger, how I knew my daughter had it as well. (I already hear your words by the way, "feel sorry for that husband" "how long you give that guy till he runs away screaming?!" I get it, it's funny) My being diagnosed is mearly a technicality so that we have a starting point of where to medically trace it back to. Although my suspicions are that my father and brother share in this "gift".

   Wait, what?! Did she just say gift?! Yes, I said gift, because even though I understand my sons exasperation in wanting to rush though this task because he can't keep his mind still enough to focus on writing down one sentence when there are a million other thoughts screaming for his attention and at least half of them are WAY cooler then sitting here doing math....(*breath*)  I tell him it's like a super power.  Yes sometimes we have to work harder to sit still, focus and not be impulsive but no one can come up with a million ideas in a sec like we can. No one can look at a situation and figure out ten different ways to solve it. How many other people can look at a flower and immediately not just think rose but "rose, red, pretty, careful, ouch, fragrant, love, mom, sister, girlfriend, gift and wow" all at the same time. We watched "Man of Steel" the other night and a part came where superman as a young boy is locked in a closet and his mother is on the other side teaching him to focus.....just focus on the one thing you want to and I turned to my husband and said, "yeah, that's what it's like. And one day, I'll have to teach that to him."  Let me clairify, no it is not to that extreme and no I don't believe we actually have "super powers" but I could identify with that boy in that moment and I could relate. I have already been telling my children for years that ADHD is like a super power and this is just a tool I will use....because why? Because there is nothing "wrong" with us. We are not freaks or something to be fixed. We simply need to hone our gifts and talents. We were made this way for a reason and purpose and I believe that with every fiber of my being and in a hundred different ways.  I am discribed as a humming bird, able to seemingly be still yet upon closer look I am going a mile a minute. We are capable of so much more then your average flight. Every part of us moving so much faster then others we are humming.

Forgive us of our impulsiveness, forgive our sometimes lack of filters. When you hear this conversation with my son...
" You should go to the bathroom."
"No I don't have to, my butts not twitching."
"Maybe less loudly next time"

.....know that we are just fine tuning those skills. Realize that somewhere in that is fierceness, intelligence and beauty. We are the silly hummingbirds.

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